To every season, there is a sweet. Easter has Cadbury eggs, Peeps, and Reese’s peanut butter eggs, which, to my delight, also exist at Christmas as trees and Halloween as pumpkins. In February, ’tis the season for heart-shaped boxes of chocolate, chocolate covered cherries, and, of course, Conversation Hearts.
I prefer the large Conversation Hearts. They’re not as hard as the small ones, and there’s more room for creative writing.
I understand that the maker of these sugary seasonal tidbits tries to keep up with the times, but when I set aside my sugar fix long enough to actually read these things, I try to picture having an actual conversation with them. The results are amusing, and occasionally disturbing.
Will You Marry Me?, True Love, Forever Yours, and Sweet Talk: Classics. Nostalgic. Romantic and quaint.
Your Gal/Your Guy: A little pushy…or maybe overconfident…but cute under the right circumstances.
Heart Beat: Okay. I hope you have one. And?
Cool: For those of few words.
Mega Kiss: Sounds like a Dementor is attacking.
Sorry: Rejection, or apology?
You’re So Cool: Leaning sarcastic.
Be My Friend: Hmm. Friendzoned via candy.
Ask Me Anything: Okay, there’s potential for a fun conversation.
Let’s Do Lunch: Seriously? Have your people call my people.
Shining Star: Manhattans? Or Earth, Wind and Fire?
Wild One: You’ve been warned.
Fax Me: If you pass this Conversation Heart to someone, and they do NOT know what a fax is, they are too young for you. Just sayin’. On the flip side, if you’re under a certain age, and neither of you know what a fax is, you’re good to go.
Dancing Queen: This one is fun. It doesn’t take itself too seriously. And you’re welcome for the ear worm.
Save Me: Desperate much?
For Keeps: Clingy.
Miss You: Awww. Send a box of these – just these – to your favorite military service person, or the other half of your long-distance relationship.
What Next: Don’t know, but it’s reminiscent of President Bartlet on The West Wing.
XOXO: Shorthand for hugs and kisses before texting was cool. Mix these in with the Miss Yous before mailing. 🙂
Okay, your turn. What’s the wackiest, oddest, most pointless Conversation Heart you’ve ever come across?