How crazy is it that being optimistic feels defiant?
I feel like I’m going against the grain…being rebellious…by daring to live a life of optimism.
I spent the latter part of 2010 stuck in spiritual quicksand. I couldn’t shake the feeling of “life sucks and then you die.” And I wondered how the heck I got that way. I didn’t used to be like that. What happened?
Lots of stuff happened. All at once. But not the stuff I’d hoped would happen. Health problems. Unforeseen major expenses. Pronounced lack of work. Physical and psychic injuries. Unsuccessful attempts at living the life I thought I was supposed to live, not the one I have.
Toward the end of last year, with the help of some lovely friends, quality time with my journals, and keeping my heart open for answers, I picked my way through the rubble of 2010. And clear as daylight, the thought came to me:
“I don’t want to feel this way anymore.”
I was tired of the cynics and whiners and, frankly, the jerks of the world getting all the attention. I was breathing their second hand smoke.
It was getting harder to do what I knew was best and knew was right…it was easier to just insulate myself by not connecting with anyone any more than I had to. I was starting to expect the worst in everyone, instead of the best, and that applied to myself too.
I don’t want to be that way. Ever.
I thought about blogging. And then I thought, “But what could I possibly say that hasn’t already been said? Who am I to put my thoughts out there?”
And my Wholehearted Girlfriends issued a collective dopeslap and said, in unison, “Who are you NOT to??”
And I whispered to myself, “But who’s going to care?”
I don’t know. I guess I’ll find out! But I have to believe that there’s more than just a handful of Us – the hopeful, the positive, the seekers. We may all be singing our own songs but perhaps it’s time to put our voices together.
So that’s what I Face the Sun is about. Choosing to live an optimistic life. It’s not a new concept, and it doesn’t mean bad things won’t happen to good people, but we’ll bounce, and have some everyday miracles in our pockets as souvenirs.
I’m going to bask in the sun. You’re welcome to join me. 🙂